I haven't been in a serious relationship now for awhile, I mean it's been a few years. I do date every now and again, but nothing so serious that I could relax and snuggle up to relationship status. The beauty of enjoying my time being single is that I am no longer anxious for a relationship, nor am I desperately longing to be in love. I used to loathe being single, and hated the thought of life with without my soul mate. I used to cry and feel sorry for myself that "The One" and I hadn't met yet, keep in mind, my biological clock ticks kinda loudly from time to time, but I have never been more anxious about having a child, than having the best relationship (marriage) to have a child in. Since I cannot force love to happen, I can't make someone love me, I need to be not just content, but crazy satisfied and in love with my life right at this very moment. I have decided that while dating can be fun and romantic, it can also be frustrating, time consuming and cause anxiety. Trying to be the right one and meet the right one, can wear on your mind and heart, and no one looks forward to another 1st and last date or awkward date behavior like your date stopping and a costume jewelry store before dinner to get an cubic zirconia earring just because he needs to floss on the date. Dating just sometimes feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack or scooping the water you spilled in the ocean back into your cup.... IMPOSSIBLE! Lol! I can't say at this point that I am on a steady quest to find or be found by love. I would however, love to meet a great person and become awesome friends that find themselves dating and falling in love. Hey, friendship is the foundation to most lasting relationships in our lives, and with that comes a level of respect and genuine care for another human being that just dating from a superficial standpoint, may not hold true.
You know those nights when you are so tired you cant do anything but shower, and fall into bed and straight to sleep? And the sleep is so deep, and you're so warm that when its time to get up, you cannot move? Like you snooze, roll over 3 times, and have the sweetest dreams you've ever had because if this sleep. That's what I feel like nowadays. Thoughts of really giving 100% to my career, friends, family, personal goals, traveling and loving myself really have inspired me! We only have one life, and it's very short. I no longer want to waste it pining over what/who I don't have in my life. A relationship is not the only thing that matters in life. There are blogs to write, needy to feed, causes to fight for, countries to explore, books to read, friends to know, and ways to grow, a Reading Rainbow! Hahahaha! I got a little caught up and nostalgic for a second!!
Truly I would love to experience all those things with my soul mate, but I feel so comfortable and at peace with just being by myself that right now, someone has to be purposeful to my life's journey in order for me to wake from my single slumber. I mean, this man coming into my life must shift my foundation so much that it is essential that he and I connect our lives and souls in marriage as we are greater together than we are apart. That our lives don't make sense anymore apart from marriage. I welcome that day when it comes... until then, I will snuggle up to single and cast my marital status worries to the wind.
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