Wow, I turned 30 today! I'm very humbled because I had plenty of opportunities to not make it to this day. What a blessing God has given me! I have taken some time to wind down from my party weekend, to reflect on the next 10 years of my life. My 20's were great! It would make a great book someday, I mean there was heartache, romance, disappointments, parties, spiritual battles, triumphant victories, scratching and surviving, I could go on. Now things aren't necessarily perfect now, but there have been a lot of changes and some much needed growth. I've gained some valuable friends, lost some, restored friendships, and allowed life experiences to cause an amicable distance. All in all the true victory is that those changes have made me who I am today. I give myself room to transform into whoever and whatever I want to be and not apologized for it. God has taught me to truly let go of things out of my control and constantly rely on him. I'm not forcing it anymore. I'm listening for his voice to guide my footsteps and relinquishing my ideals of how life is supposed to go. Am I married yet? No, but it will happen sooner than I know it, and I am not sorry for myself or envious of others. Ecclesiates is a great reminder of knowing that there is a place in time God designated for my marriage. Do I have kids yet? No, big No. I want them, but man they are a huge responsibility, not to mention they can wear you out physically and fiscally! LOL! I'm in no rush to have more on me than I'm ready for. Am I million dollar movie star? Not yet, but GOD is asking for "Now Faith" so I'm giving it to him knowing he can do the impossible, and the odds in Hollywood can be just that. I was watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and one line in the movie that stuck out to me was "You never know what's coming for ya." It's a very southern phrase but so very true. It reminds me that things won't always stay the same and even the things that we hope for that seem so distant or out of reach can surley come, even things we don't hope for. Therefore, just live. Life can come at you quickly and take you places, to meet people and experience things so extraordinary. 30 came for me and I'm finding a quiet confidence in living at this level. An assurance I didn't have at 25 when I went through the "quarter- life crisis." Many will say that's not real, or that that it's a term for lazy young people who can't get it together, but for me, it almost cost me my life. My state of mind was so in shock and deconstructed by dreams deferred, so to speak, that nothing I did brought happiness or sense of accomplishment. When you add in disappointments by way of job loss, heartbreak, and being displaced, only God can breathe life into dry bones. God can tell someone you don't even know to send you an email asking you to audition for a role in their play out of the blue, to bring you back to a place where he began a good work. "You never know what's coming for ya" at it's best!
30 is where my 2nd gust of wind will kick in and propel me to new heights without fear. I have no choice but to have FAITH. I have no choice but to expect a miracle everyday! Live your life!
